Dear 20

    My interesting new age, I honestly had no plans to write you a letter but here I am sitting in the kitchen thinking about how life has changed so much in the past few weeks. And how I've had to put so many people before myself even after making so many promises to myself to put my self first, I've thought of so many things that I had told myself I would never have to think of, done so many things I could have sworn I'll never do. I've smiled more, cried more, hoped and longed for more, tried harder and even prayed more. I've learnt so much about life, love, family, friendship and even myself, some of this things I had hoped I'd have to learn later in life. I'm hardly decent at expressing myself or making decisions or being me but one thing I think I'm decent at is writing how I feel and that's why I'm writing to you

    My interesting new age, just Incase you're wondering what the perfect gift would be, maybe you could get me that bouncing castle and a sprinkle of Peace, I've longed so much for a space where I could just forget the worries of life and just breathe but that seems like an illusion in itself. These days I just sit and think about what life would be if I didn't take some steps or make some decisions, I've learnt to never regret anything in life but it doesn't stop me from thinking about the outcome if I had taken an opposite decision

    I've had to answer questions like what would you do want to do with your degree, what do you want to do with your life, where do you see yourself in the next few months or years, I'm beginning to question my choices and my outlook on life, I know I'm supposed to take one day at a time but it just seems like the new age comes with a lot of expectations and questions that I can't seem to answer.

  My interesting new age, I haven't gotten the answer I'm looking for but something has changed my insight on life, my goals are no longer money oriented but change oriented, I've had so many "adult conversation", I'm beginning to feel like an adult, I've asked for advice before so many steps, my advisers are probably tired of me, all these thoughts, questions, all the everything  it's feels like "growth", eishh that word. I now close my eyes and imagine myself in the space I want to be, see myself there and understand that I'm getting there. I'm enjoying the process

   My interesting new age, I'm enjoying the thrill, the excitement, the creative ideas, the peace, the storm, the waking and sleeping back, the bugging, the buzz, the laughter, the goosebumps that comes with getting what I want after a very very long and tiring day. I look forward to seeing more, hearing more, experiencing more, learning and living

   Dear 20, I'm grateful for the breeze that almost carries me away when I close my eyes and allow my imaginations run wild, the people you took away and the ones you brought closer, I cry during the day then go to bed with a smile on my face. It's so weird, I can't even explain

 

Yes, I'm loving my 20!